Murphy’s Laws of Golf

Golfers who claim they never cheat also lie.

A two-foot putt counts the same as a two-foot drive.

Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.

There is no such thing as a friendly wager.

The stages of golf are Sudden Collapse, Radical Change, Complete Frustration, Slow Improvement, Brief Mastery, and Sudden Collapse.

The only sure way to get a par is to leave a four-foot birdie putt two inches short of the hole.

Don’t play with anyone who would question a 7.

It’s as easy to lower your handicap as it is to reduce your hat size.

If you really want to be better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

If your driver is hot, your putter will be ice cold; if you can hit your irons, you will top your woods; if you are keeping your right elbow tucked in, your head will come up.

Progress in golf consists of two steps forward and 26.6 miles backward.

One good shank deserves another.

It takes 17 holes to really get warmed up.

No golfer ever swung too slowly.

No golfer ever played too fast.

One birdie is a hot streak.

No matter how badly you are playing, it’s always possible to play worse.

Whatever you think you’re doing wrong is the one thing you’re doing right.

Any change works for three holes.

The odds of hitting a duffed shot increase by the square of the number of people watching.

Never take lessons from your father.

Never teach golf to your wife.

Never play your son for money.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing..

The statute of limitation on forgotten strokes is two holes.

Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.

Confidence evaporates in the presence of fairway water.

It takes considerable pressure to make a penalty stroke adhere to a scorecard.

It’s not a gimme if you’re still away.

The more your opponent quotes the rules, the greater the certainty that he cheats.

Always limp with the same leg for the whole round.

The rake is always in the other trap.

The wind is in your face on 16 of the 18 holes.

Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right.

The rough will be mown tomorrow.

The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday.

It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing.

The nearest sprinkler head will be blank.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a 2 inch branch 90%of the time.

Out of bounds is always on the right, for right handers.

The practice green is either half as fast or twice as fast as all the other greens.

No one with funny head covers ever broke par.

The lowest numbered iron in your bag will always be impossible to hit.

Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.

No matter how far its shaft extends, a ball retriever is always a foot too short to reach the ball.

If you seem to be hitting your shots straight on the driving range, it’s probably because you’re not aiming at anything.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

The only thing you can learn from golf books is that you can’t learn anything from golf books, but you have to read an awful lot of golf books to learn it.

Ten Reasons Why You Should Let Pam’s Book Your Ocean City Golf Trip!

1. When it comes to excellent customer service… nobody beats Pam’s! One call does it all, rooms, tee times, restaurants & more!

2. Pam’s has the best golf deals in Ocean City! We get the best deals at the most beautiful golf courses. These tracks are plush!

3. From travel emergencies to directions, Pam’s offers 24 hour travel assistance before, during & after your golf vacation!

4. Pam’s reduces stress and lowers your blood pressure – let us do all the work for you, all you have to do is decide who to invite.

5. Booking with Pam’s is almost like being a member in a private club, since we have exclusive access to private courses that no one else does. We deliver!

6. Pam’s has been booking golf packages for 20 years and we know the best restaurants, the best courses and we get you the best deals!

7. Book your OC Golf Trip with Pam’s & receive FREE Golf Trips to use at a later date!*

8. Pam’s has exclusive promotions and bonus offers you can’t get anywhere else, like FREE Nights, Happy Hours & Gift Cards to area restaurants when you book your Pam’s Golf Vacation!

9. The Girls at Pam’s make sure that all of our golfers are taken care of on and off the course… with FREE Drinks, Appetizers & Dinners!

10. And best of all when you book with Pam’s Ocean City Golf Getaways, you get our commitment to making your next golf vacation the best ever!

Call 877.GOLF.888 to book your Ocean City Golf Vacation Today!

*Specific travel dates & other restrictions may apply. Call for details.

How Did the Word “Mulligan” Acquire Its Golf Meaning?

“Mulligan,” in its golf sense, is a relatively new word, but was in common use on golf courses by at least the 1940s.

And there are many, many stories about the birth of the golf term “mulligan” … and it’s quite possible that none of them are true.

Because nobody really knows how mulligan acquired its golf meaning (a mulligan, of course, is a “do-over” – hit a bad shot, take a mulligan and try again). All we have are … those stories. And we’ll tell a few of them here.

The USGA Museum offers several possible explanations. In one, a fellow by the name of David Mulligan frequented St. Lambert Country Club in Montreal, Quebec, during the 1920s. Mulligan let it rip off the tee one day, wasn’t happy with the results, re-teed, and hit again. According to the story, he called it a “correction shot,” but his partners thought a better name was needed and dubbed it a “mulligan.”

Perhaps because Mr. Mulligan was a prominent businessman – owning multiple hotels – the term was more likely to catch on. But that’s only if you believe this version. Which, alas, does not have any hard evidence to support it. (The USGA Web Site actually provides two other alternate versions of the David Mulligan story – the origins of “mulligan” are so mysterious that the same story winds up with three different versions!)

Another story cited by the USGA is of a John “Buddy” Mulligan, known for replaying poor shots at Essex Fells Country Clubs in N.J.

Another interesting theory is related by the Web site, StraightDope.com. Responding to a question about the origins of “mulligan” (a common Irish name and, remember, the Northeastern U.S. was heavily Irish in the early part of the 20th Century), StraightDope.com replied, “Another origin theory ties to the period when Irish-Americans were joining fancy country clubs and were derided as incompetent golfers. That would make the term basically an ethnic slur that caught on, like ‘Indian summer’ or ‘Dutch treat.’ ”

The “Dictionary of Word and Phrase Origins” offers a more prosaic explanation. It postulates the word derives from saloons that, back in the day, would place a free bottle of booze on the bar for customers to dip into. That free bottle was called, according to the book, a Mulligan. The term was adapted to the golf course to denote a “freebie” to be used by golfers.

Bear Trap Dunes By Rick Jacobson

Bear Trap Dunes is the best 27-hole golf club on the Eastern Shore and boasts a 4-star rating from Golf Digest’s Best Places to Play. Course designer, Rick Jacobson describes Bear Trap as “visually unique because of its ample use of sand dunes – adhering to the coastal area’s natural terrain.”

The Bistro, features an open kitchen highlighted by a brick pizza oven. The lounge, with three large flat screen TVs, is the perfect place to unwind after your round. Join us in The Bistro for great food at a great value in a casual and comfortable atmosphere.

Keeping Personal Problems off the Golf Course

On the golf course, golfers are often left alone with their thoughts. For that reason, without mental preparation and focus, golf can become a frustrating and even depressing endeavor, especially for the competitive golfer. There are a myriad of things that can take a golfer’s focus away from the task at hand; allergy symptoms, raindrops, a nagging injury, or slow play. The most damaging distraction is, arguably, personal issues. Two recent examples, though varying greatly in actual severity, are good illustrations. Sergio Garcia is an amazing talent. Recently, he came within a tiny margin of taking Tiger Woods’ number one spot in the Official World Golf Rankings. Until, that is, he went through a breakup with his girlfriend, Morgan-Leigh Norman, daughter of golfing great, Greg Norman. Since the March breakup, Garcia’s play has suffered and he has admitted openly that it affected his performance. “Obviously the break-up with Morgan didn’t help. You get over some things. Others take a little longer.” Much has been reported about Amy Mickelson, wife of Phil Mickelson, and her recent diagnosis of breast cancer. Phil immediately suspended his tour schedule in order to be with his wife and family and this week marks his return to the tour. It remains painful for him to speak publicly about his wife’s condition and it is undoubtedly difficult for him to keep it from his mind while on the golf course. Although Garcia and Mickelson have problems that vary a great deal in actual severity, both are equally distracting to the individual golfer. Every person, whether amateur or pro, male or female, from time to time, has personal difficulties that affect their play and they don’t need to be as grave as the two described here to make an impact. Dr. Morris Pickens, GolfersMD sports-psychology expert puts the issue in perspective in speaking of whether such thoughts can be controlled. “No, those issues can’t be forgotten,” says Pickens when asked about whether Garcia and Mickelson could be put out of their mind. “They can be minimized, but not forgotten.” Methods for Dealing with Life Issues on the Course Dr. Pickens has two methods recommends for his players, which include 2007 Masters Champion, Zach Johnson, when faced with any off-the-course issues: 1. Physically get the issue out of the system before stepping onto the course. Write the problem down and leave it in the car, at the hotel, in the locker room. 2. When thoughts of the problem enter the mind while on the golf course, and they often will, don’t dwell on it or fight it. Finish the thought and get back to focusing on the next shot. Source: “Sergio García Blames Slump in Form on Split From Girlfriend,” John Hopkins and Jack Malvern, The Times, London, UK, May 27, 2009. Alan L. Hammond

Classic Golf Pranks

These are tried-and-true golf pranks guaranteed to get a laugh.  Word of caution: these ideas should be reserved for very close friends: not your boss, and certainly not your host or someone who’s paid for your round.  If you’re straddling the fence of appropriateness, it’s probably best to err on the side of caution.

However, if you’ve been the subject of a prior prank or you know the target well enough, then the gloves are off!

Turn Key
This is an easy one. After your playing partners have met you at the range or the first tee (and have already operated their cart), just turn their key to the ‘off’ position. It will take them a while to figure out why the cart isn’t working. Repeat.

Bag Strapped
Either at the practice range or near the first tee, simply loosen the vinyl strap that holds a player’s bag to the back of a cart. When the cart lurches forward, the clubs will fall off the back.  Yes, it might damage the equipment, but it’s hilarious. The player whose gear falls off gets embarrassed because it’s loud and they’ll think it was their fault.

Do this repeatedly throughout the round until the sucker catches on. Eventually, they will.

 Loud Speaker
If a player in your group has an embarrassing nickname or is sensitive about a common mispronunciation of their name, give the person in the Golf Shop a buck or two to announce your group to the first tee using the nickname.

 Sand Bagged
This is an adaptation of the age-old salt shaker gag. At a course that has sand-n-seed containers on each cart, simply unscrew the tops so that when the container is picked up the contents will spill everywhere. Childish,  but funny.

Dead Weight
If you’re walking, try to sneak something heavy into the bottom of your playing partner’s golf bag. Maybe a five-pound weight, a handful of rocks, a sand-n-seed bottle, seven beers or a human head. Whatever you can find.

 The Driver/Putter Switch-a-Roo
Take your buddy’s brand-new $900 Super-Duper-El Guapo driver out of his bag and hide it in yours, then replace it with an old beat-up persimmon from the lost-and-found barrel in the cart barn.

Be sure to put the Super-Duper-El Guapo headcover back on the replacement. When it’s unsheathed, your victim’s heart will stop for as long as you can keep a straight face. This can also be done with a putter, or better yet, both.

 Getting the Shaft
This is the classic golf prank. Before you leave the course, take all the clubs out of your target’s golf bag and replace them upside down – clubhead end first.

Stuff as many as possible into the smallest opening and give each a twist. It’s nearly impossible to pull the clubs out because they get so tangled. Hee-hee.

Pink Balls
Remove all regular golf balls from your male buddy’s bag and replace them with pink ones. Hopefully, he won’t discover the gag until just before he’s teeing off in a semi-serious tournament.

Or even better, just before he’s teeing off in a semi-serious tournament with a shotgun start and he’s as far away from the clubhouse as geographically possible. Now that’s good humor.

Laura Davies
Cut out a magazine picture of LPGA legend Laura Davies (about the same size as the top of a driver) and made copies.

Whenever possible, tape it to the top of his club so when he removed the headcover she was staring up at him. Use thick, super-adhesive, packing tape so it doesn’t come off very easily.

Your Mother
Here’s an advanced twist to Laura Davies. Tape a picture of your buddy’s mom (or wife) to your own club. Then act surprised and blame somebody else.

“Wow! Who taped this picture of my prom date to my driver?!!  Not funny guys…”

Where’s the Beef?
At the end of the day, offer to load the clubs into your rig for the ride home. Slip a tightly wrapped package of raw hamburger (or old shrimp shells, or something equally smelly) into your target’s bag. If you’re lucky, he won’t find it before he can smell it. An advanced maneuver is to prepare two smelly payloads. Hide one in the main pocket where it will be obviously found after a cursory search. Then hide the ninja package where it won’t be discovered. They’ll find the first one, quit looking, and just blame it for the ‘lingering’ stench.

*Use your own discretion and you are responsible for your own actions.  Pam’s will not be held liable for anything discussed in this blog.

Nutters Crossing Golf Club By Ault, Clark, & Associates

Perfect on the way in or out of town! This championship par 70 design is just 25 minutes from Ocean City.  Nutters Crossing offers Bermuda fairways and bent grass greens that roll between 9 and 10 on the stimpmeter. They offer 90 degree cart ruling at all times, weather permitting.

Nutters Crossing offers a fully stocked professional shop, PGA instruction, Lighted practice range and full service restaurant. They welcome all tournaments and group outings. We look forward to seeing you for an enjoyable round of golf at Nutters Crossing.

Ocean Pines Golf & CC By Robert Trent Jones

Enjoy a round of golf at one of Robert Trent Jones, Sr.’s Mid-Atlantic Marvels! Located in the largest residential community on the Eastern Shore, Ocean Pines Golf & Country Club is a challenging 18-hole championship course nestled amid natural wetlands and scenic woodlands.

OPGCC dares players of all levels, ages and abilities to test their skills on this course, which cuts through the native pines leaving a fair but demanding course for all golfers! Our professionally staffed facility features a clubhouse, full service pro shop, locker room facilities, double ended driving range, sheltered driving area, practice chipping and pitching green, two practice putting greens, two practice sand bunkers, a modern learning center, and the Fairway Cafe. Come tee up in Ocean Pines.

Seaside at Ocean City Golf Club

We invite you to enjoy the Ocean City Golf Club’s award winning facility, which has been in operation since 1959.  Conveniently located just minutes from Ocean City, the Ocean City Golf Club has been a popular choice for golfers of all playing ability.  With two, 18-hole championship courses, Newport Bay and Seaside, golfers can enjoy a wide variety of scenic views that accompany the well-designed and manicured golf holes at the facility.

Our Seaside course is one of the Eastern Shore’s oldest golf courses and offers a classic parkland-style layout.  This beautifully maintained, traditional parkland course features bent grass fairways and greens, invigorating woodlands, strategically placed bunkers and fountainhead ponds.  The Seaside course was named in Golf Digest as one of the best places to play, earning a three and a half star score.  We invite you to play our Seaside course and experience golf as it is meant to be played.

Before or after a round of golf you can enjoy cocktails and lunch at our large, fully serviced, 300 person capacity restaurant.  We also have two practice greens and a driving range that you can use to warm up before you play.